teacher

5 steps to Foster the Fearless Child!

Posted on by never ending stories

As a child I grew up curious about everything. I wanted to know how things worked, how they were assembled and what they could do differently. I still, to this day, want to solve a Rubik’s Cube (even though I haven’t focused a full hour on YouTube to make it happen!)

I wanted to be like the Olympians when I watched them win the Olympics. I could feel from my living room as a child, the rush they must feel from being #1. I would practice my cartwheels and flips on the couches. I would dream of someday being amazing too.

I would be the first to volunteer myself to go on stage during an assembly. I would write the poems for the competitions and submit the short stories. Sometimes I won! I would try out for every play,every sport,and if I didn’t get picked I would try again another time.

I would talk other kids into trying new things. I would explain bravery as a child and go first just to eliminate their fears. I was not afraid of anything.

When I grew up and had kids I decided I would make them try everything. If they feared the unknown I would push them just enough to step out of their comfort zone. Sometimes they would surprise me and do things I could never even dream of.

At the age of 7 my daughter jumped off of a 50 foot cliff at Lake Dudu in the Dominican Republic. Teachers would call from school to tell me about my child’s imagination and how she was telling children great fish stories. Imagine the teachers disbelief when I verified her stories and sent pictures in as proof.

I have and will always remain shocked at the child that won’t try the unfamiliar and the parents that encourage this behavior. I wondered what the parents did differently when raising their children compared to how I am raising mine or more importantly how my parents raised me.

I have analyzed this closely and read tons on how to foster confidence in a child and allow them to experiment with their own comfort boundaries.

So what are the 5 major parenting/teaching roles you must foster in your child/student to create a brave and fearless (in the right areas)child/student.

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1. Keep your life long fears away from your child/student.
Parents/teachers that are afraid to swim will often (not all times) never allow their children/student to swim. If you don’t like broccoli,tuna fish,or string beans, keep it to yourself and allow the child to try it anyway. Plenty of times parents will suggest their child doesn’t like something. That’s fine however allowing them to try it again and again is not a bad thing. Not to mention people change their minds daily and so do young children. They will also follow the lead of other adults or children and try something that may surprise you.

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2. Give your child/student their own voice and allow them to use it.
Children from a young age will tell you “No” without any warning. “No, I dont want that, no I dont like that, no I’m not eating that, no I’m not doing that,ect!” Allow them to use their voice if they dont like something. Try not to micromanage the things they like or dont like. Its OK at 7 if your son doesn’t like Thomas the Tank Engine anymore. They are going to eventually grow up. Teach them to use their voice!

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3. Let your child/student be brave and push boundaries.
Naturally children will try your patience and do things that you dont want them to do. Pay attention to the timing of this situation. If you are being pushed and no harm can come of the bravery that is being displayed, then allow the push on your boundary. Let the child learn that pushing can lead to winning. This will create the essential skill of advocating for oneself, being a self starter and not being afraid of a little challenge.

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4. Support your child/student with all safe choices even if you disagree.
If your child wants to be a snowboarder but you think it is unsafe, maybe its time to back off a bit. Let your child attempt greatness in areas that you would never try. If your child wants to try out for a play however you dont think they will make it, let them try out. Its not the end of the world if they fail even if you thought they might. Children need to learn that some things in life dont come naturally and sometimes you aren’t going to get the lead role.

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5. Foster your child/student to dream greatness.
Allow them to design their road map to success. If they decide they want to be a pilot at the age of 9 or a famous soccer player at 4, support the dream. Children can learn in their own time that life can be disappointing.  As parents and educators it is our job to keep children dreaming until they are 99!

 

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.”  ―Zig Ziglat

 

Mr.Frog – A Playground Story

Posted on by never ending stories

Across the playground you hear a young child crying as his teacher panics yelling, “Ugh–he is so dirty, put him down!” knocking the frog out of the child’s hand. She then picks the toddler up as he screams “My frog! My frog!” She puts the boy down and walks away with the child in tow. You hear her explaining how dirty that frog was and how he shouldn’t touch it.

Sobbing with boogers dripping down his face, he screams louder about his frog friend. He becomes inconsolable. He is flailing his arms in anger. Nothing she can do now can stop the temper tantrum. The damage is already done.

At this moment, I wish I had an imaginary teacher helper that could run around and say “No, no, no, try it this way!” This insane moment that was created by an overreaction is so unnecessary. The teacher, the child, and anyone else in the class now have to feel the stress created by the teacher’s reaction to poor Mr.Frog’s visit.

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The skills needed by a teacher, caregiver, babysitter and a mother/father are all the same in these moments. Patience, love and IMAGINATION.

Skill #1 Love: How would I feel if …

If I was holding a frog in my hand and someone tore it from me, how would I react? I would throw an adult temper tantrum. I would feel unloved.  I would demand to know who has the right to grab my frog from me, and cry just like the child! Okay so maybe I wouldn’t cry, but I would certainly question anyone who treated me this way.

We should only react so abruptly to children when there is an emergency scenario. Emergency scenarios do not count picking up a frog or a ladybug! (Step #4 will address the safety issue of frogs)

Children need to be viewed as little future adults and deserve kindness and respect at all times.

Skill #2 PATIENCE:  Remember what it was like to be a child…

A young child is not going to want to hand you their new friend.  They will run from you, hide from you, maybe even stick the frog in their pocket for it’s safety!

Stay patient and remember to laugh.  Young children are developing their own survival skills and yelling at them about a frog will cause fear, not compliance.

Sit with the child and pet the frog too.  Tell the children as they gather around how this frog needs to go home to its mommy.  Stay calm, loving and patient.

Skill #3 IMAGINATION: Join the child’s world…

Get on the child’s level. Remember what it is like to be young and excited about something you’ve never been able to hold before. Join the child in their adventure. Be as excited as they are and save the frog–with their help!

“Johnny, that frog is amazing. How did you capture him? You must be a super hero to that frog. Come on everyone, let’s save Johnny’s frog and get him back to his mommy!”

Even a 2 year old will be excited to help. Slowly walk the child and frog to the fence line and say goodbye together. Release Mr. Frog and wave goodbye.

Suggest that maybe the frog will be in the classroom and go for a Frog Hunt! Hop around like frogs on lily pads! If the child still throws a fit, then at least the child crying won’t be a stress and distraction to the fun the rest of the children are having!

But wait, can’t frogs be dangerous?

OK, sure, some say that contact with frogs can cause an infection because they may carry salmonella bacteria. Still, this is not a reason to freak out. After touching a frog, you should simply wash your hands with soap and water immediately. Don’t eat or touch food before washing your hands. Frog juice is not tasty anyway.

After the Frog Hunt or lily pad jumping session, warn young children not to touch any frogs or other living creatures without calling for an adult first and keep an eye out for any sneaky frogs that have made it into the classroom or home!

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Note from your preschool teacher.

Posted on by never ending stories

Dear Parent,

I love your child.  We have a blast playing every day. He/She laughs at the simplest of acts.  You know that laugh, the one where you can feel their inner adult coming out.  I often spend time trying to hear that sound come out of your child.

Laughter is the main idea I have in my preschool program!  We use our imagination to run around and act like monkeys or zebras, we fly in pretend spaceships, we caught an alien, all while learning real life.

Sometimes your child struggles.  They all do.  I am always going to tell you where your child struggles because, I am the first hope of helping your child become amazing in school.  You got this at home, I promise to be here in school.

Sometimes your child is going to get picked on or pick on another child or even BITE.  NO your child isn’t bad.  They are figuring out their way, at this time in life.  I will never judge your child. I will redirect them and help with making better choices, just like you would on the playground.

I will always tell you when he/she has decided peanut butter and jelly is gross.  I won’t force your child to eat.  They dont starve if they don’t like your lunch.  Would you want to eat a mushy sandwich happily? Me neither.  I wish I could share my own but state laws so NO!  I’m sorry.  I’ll teach them to share in other ways.

I am going to hug your children when they fall, scrape their knee, or their feelings are hurt.  Sometimes just one hug can make the difference.  I will also give a band aid even if there is no wound to show for the pain.  It’s just a band aid and sometimes its worth giving one up.

I am not just the teacher of your child.  I am your friend, your eyes when you can’t be there, and the other person showing your child real life and dedication.

I am here for your child and I will teach your child to be there for all other children.  I am teaching them this lesson along the side of you, the parent.

Thank you for being a great parent and raising an adorable child.

TEACHER

 

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